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Dallas Divorce Attorneys, Mark Nacol and Julian Nacol
Based in Dallas, Texas, the Nacol Law Firm PC, traces its roots to the firm of Mark A. Nacol and Associates PC, established in 1979. The Nacol Law Firm team shares its experience on a variety of legal topics here. See our recent posts below.
Getting a Texas Divorce with a Narcissist
What is a narcissist? Narcissistic Personality Disorder or ‘NPD” is a mental disorder where the person has very inflated self-esteem issue and a serious need for admiration and special treatment from other people. Typical arrogant behavior and lack of empathy for other people causes many problems in all emotional areas of their lives and relationships.
Narcissists are also very aggressive and usually have impulsive tendencies, dangerous lifestyles involving cockiness, selfishness, manipulation and power motives. These individuals are usually very exciting personalities at first meeting, but later cause unfulfilling relationships resulting in anxiety and depression at the end of the day.
You have met the “most exciting” person in the world who has self-esteem problems and can’t get along with anyone, including you! The big problem is that you married this person and now you MUST FIND A SOLUTION TO THIS SITUATION AND GET A DIVORCE!
The marriage adventure is over. Your married life to your narcissist was a total disaster and you know that you need to get a divorce. Are you frightened that you could very well lose everything in this divorce from hell since you may lack the manipulating skills that your narcissist spouse skillfully uses on all aspects of his/her manipulative lifestyle?
Before you start the Divorce battle with your narcissist, you must “Stop Feeling and Start Thinking”! You have been emotionally battered and mutilated for years by this spouse, but now is the time to take over your life and your children’s lives and decide that Your family DOES NOT AND WILL NOT TAKE THIS ABUSE ANYMORE FROM YOUR SPOUSE!
Here are some tips on planning your exit from this marriage and Win control of your life and your family lives.
- BE PREPARED! If you are thinking of going through with this divorce, start your preparations now! You need total knowledge of your family’s financial situation. On our website you can pull off a blog “Texas Divorce Financial Checklist” (http://www.divorcedallastx.com/texas-divorce-financial-checklist/) which will give you a guideline on your financial information needed. Update this information immediately. Know who makes what and where all monies and assets are located. All banking and account information should be update for correct account numbers and balances. This will help you determine how much money you will need to live on and what you can plan on your part of the assets. This will also give you an idea on what funds you can use to hire a competent attorney to help you get through the divorce.
- RESEARCH PRIORITY ISSUES! Educate yourself on divorce issues, such as child custody and visitation, who gets the house, property separation, spousal maintenance and child support in your state. Prioritize what is important to you and prepare questions to ask an attorney on what your expectations should be. All or nothing does not work. Set Reasonable goals.
- START INTERVIEWING ATTORNEYS to find a good match to help you through this complicated divorce. Look for an attorney who deals with difficult family law cases concerning emotional/domestic abuse, high conflict individuals, or contested child custody. Even if you are served divorce papers, take your time finding an experienced attorney who will be your advocate in the divorce. DO NOT HIRE A NARCISSIST ATTORNEY! This would be a disaster!
- Help Plan your Divorce Game plan! No one knows your Narcissist spouse or family situation better than you. What arguments/facts will they come up with to hurt your position? Discuss your entire situation with you attorney and work together on your divorce approach. Your attorney will help you determine your final goals through experience from his previous experience in such matters.
- STAY REASONABLE AND TRY TO KEEP EMOTIONS STEADY! Don’t let your narcissist spouse turn you into a narcissist! You cannot win this way! Think logical, use true facts, and don’t go overboard financially battling with him/her. If this gets settled, goes to mediation, or ever a jury trial, it will be over and you will greatly improve your life.
You married a Narcissist and now you are divorcing him/her. You must be prepared knowing that your spouse will now be able to participate in the greatest show of their lives, “THE DIVORCE”. Your spouse will try to show what a horrible, ungrateful, unworthy person/parent you are and how badly you hurt your innocent victim/martyr spouse.
Irrelevant are your feelings and emotions. By thinking and planning your divorce strategy with a qualified attorney you will be prepared for battle and to live your life as you choose.
Remember the focal point of his/her narcissistic behavior is the fear of abandonment and threat to his/her self-worth. Be well-prepared for the battle ahead. The key is to not respond emotionally and let it drain you. Observe their behavior as a disorder, and don’t absorb it as a literal or personal attack on you.
If you mitigate for his/her drawn-out narcissistic rage and know that he/she may attempt to destroy you, you will less likely feel bullied or defeated. Be forewarned, you will be less victimized by something you expect.
Children in Distress: What to Do When You Need Emergency Relief
The right to obtain physical possession of a child, the right to obtain temporary relief without prior notice to the other party, and the right to exclude a party from a residence are all special circumstances in which emergency relief may be requested.
A writ of attachment is a court order requiring a child be produced at a particular location at a particular time. It is used in situations where a party is entitled to possession of a child under a court order. It may also be used when an emergency exists and a child is in imminent danger to his or her physical or emotional welfare.
The remedy is extraordinary. As such, specific facts must be alleged to command the court to issue the writ. The writ should be requested only when necessary to protect the welfare of the child.
Section 105.001 of the Texas Family Code provides the court may not render an order, except on a verified pleading or an affidavit which (1) attached the body of a child; (2) takes the child into the possession of the court or into the possession of a person designated by the court or (3) excludes a parent from possession of or access to a child.
Requests for writs of attachment are contained in petitions, motions and applications in suits affecting the parent child relationship and are filed ancillary to other requests. The court must then make a determination as to whether the necessity exists for the writ and the applications are in proper order.
The court issues a writ commanding any sheriff or constable to attach the body of a child and deliver the child to a designated place. That designated place is a location specified by the court who may command that the child be brought to the court or the court may provide a location where the child may be delivered by law enforcement.
Habeas corpus actions are brought when a party claiming a right to possession of a child is seeking the court’s help in getting the child physically turned over to that party. The court shall compel return of the child to the person filing the habeas corpus only if the court finds that the filer is entitled to possession under the order.
If the court fails to compel return of the child, the court may issue temporary orders if a suit affecting the parent child relationship is pending. The court may issues such temporary orders only if the suit affecting parent child relationship is pending and the temporary hearing is set at the same time as the habeas corpus hearing. The court may then enter an order if a serious immediate question concerning the welfare of the child is shown at the temporary hearing.
The court has defined “serious and immediate question” to mean imminent danger of physical or emotional harm that requires immediate action to protect the child. If a right to possession is established, the exception to granting the writ occurs when a serious and immediate question concerning the welfare of the child exists. If the writ is denied after the right to possession under a prior court order is established, the Texas Supreme Court requires the trial court issue a written temporary order containing a finding that there is a serious and immediate question concerning the child.
A serious and immediate question, although often alleged, is rarely found in habeas corpus actions.
A temporary order, when entered, should not be a final adjudication of custody. At a minimum, the temporary order should contain the filer’s temporary rights to possession and should set a further hearing.
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Attorney Mark A. Nacol is board certified in Civil Trial Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization